The Emotionally Absent Mother: How To Recognize And Heal The Invisible Effects Of Childhood Emotional Neglect

My personal therapist recommended this book as we have been working for about two years on my 'mother issues'. There were many 'light bulb' moments for me as I read the book: Jasmin Lee Cori sensitively takes you through some painful issues and makes helpful connections and observations which really do help to heal childhood emotional neglect. There were times when I laughed out loud as it felt to me like the author knew my mum! I use sticky markers each time I find really helpful/useful text; my test of a 'good book' is how many markers I use. If you look at the picture you will see that this book if packed with helpful/useful text! I would like to thank the author for writing such a helpful and insightful book.

I love attachment theory but all too often the theory only gives you one choice of style which can feel like a bad fit. This book was a joy to read looking at the many attachments each of us forms and in particular the attachment with our mothers or those that stood in for our mothers, where the primary attachment figures was emotionally absent. The style of quitting was accessible and thought provoking. A real eye opener when looking at your own process and also when trying to fit it to your clients needs. I feel I'll hold a great deal of this book within me. Highly recommended.

Incredible book, unpacks all the layers of emotional abuse and its long-term effects, then explores how to make-up for the important aspects that are absent

This might sound overly dramatic. But I feel like this book saved my life. There's no words to explain just how much I needed to hear what was written in this book. Especially from someone neutral without a hidden agenda. It felt as though this book was written directly to me. I kept thinking how do you know me and my mother? Lol. It literally all applied to me. It's probably worth noting that this book doesn't actually have the resources to heal you, although it does have some useful exercises. What it does do however is lay out the blueprint of what would help (certain types of therapies primarily done with a psychotherapist), which gives you a good starting point on next steps. Having said that, just gaining a better understanding of myself and my childhood was partially healing in itself. Being a mother to a young child, this also helped me have more confidence in how I am raising her. I've done a number of short course therapies, cbt, groups, etc and whilst those kinds of courses certainly have their places for more superficial (not used in a derogatory way) problems, I feel rather than tackling specific traumas and giving coping skills as these courses do, it's probably worth finding out whether a person has the foundation needed to even begin to tackle more recent traumas and actually deal with root problems rather than just giving coping skills, which in my opinion is a akin to simply putting a bandaid over the wound. All this time I've spent in therapy and not once have we gone into this stuff. Therefore I've not felt any better. NHS mental health has a lot to answer for. But moving on... this is a seriously amazing book. If you have mum issues and the concept is new to you, you won't regret buying it. Only reason why it's not 5 stars is because I'd have liked more exercises. Simply because booking some sessions with the author isn't an option, so to me that's the next best thing.

Highly recommend this book. Very insightful... Easy to read and well written. It turned out to be so accurate for me, that it was quite painful to read and took a long time to get through as i didn't always have the capacity for dealing with such core and emotional issues; but a massively valuable book at the same time.

An important read for anyone investigating or wanting to heal the hole their 'absent' Mum has created. This book will help you understand yourself, understand her but more importantly will set you on the path of wholeness. A brilliant book that I am so grateful I found!!!!

I have struggled with a sense of not being good enough, a people pleaser all my life. But, I just put it down to a personality trait, bring an empath, rather than anything more serious. However, my anxiety levels were starting to overwhelm and I knew I needed help. This book provided explanations for my feelings and behaviour. And more importantly ways to help myself recover after all these years. Jasmin lee Cori, seems blend compassion and explanations in a way that makes you feel understood and empowered at the same time, a true gift. If you have experienced relationship problems with your mother, buying this book may be one of the best decisions you will make.

Interesting book, and some good points about the importance of the relationship we have with our mothers

Dit boek geeft een duidelijk beeld van de emotioneel afwezige moeder, de impact hiervan op het kind en wat je, op latere leeftijd, zelf kan doen om de schade (enigszins) te herstellen. Ik ben dankbaar, dat dit boek op mijn pad is gekomen. Het lezen ervan was af en toe confronterend en emotioneel, maar ik ben achteraf blij, dat ik het gedaan heb. Het heeft mijn ogen geopend.

If you truly suspect SERIOUS issues with your relationship with your mother, especially if you were / are or thinking of therapy - read this. It's not only a wise and thorough book (NOT a silly self-help do this and your life will be transformed book). It's beautifully written and full of wisdom and compassion, compassion for hurt adult daughters but also messed up mothers that hurt us. For all of us who want to rever and give a better deal to our daughters, so not to repeat the heritage of neglect or ill emotions. I'd say this book might depress some, if it makes you realise how deep your issues are but you luck the commitment to take it up with the therapist so be aware of it , if you want to make the most of the wisdom that is there. But most of all hats off to the author, for putting so much both expertise and heart and original but very comprehensive approach to the mother-daughter drama. She did not write a book to make money and advance her career, she wrote it as she had so much wise and good to share, and you feel it as you read it. Thanks for that!

The book has a very good quality of paper. The content is very interesting.

A bit softer in its tone compared to other books on the same subject in that many books about immature parents often seem to centre around narssistic mother’s, where as I found this book very good as it didn’t do that. Most people have had some kind of neglect but not everyone has narssistic parents, it’s usually pattern they picked up from their neglect from their parents. It showed understanding to the mother without taking anything away from the one who had been neglected. I thought well written, and helped feel understood, also was good to see how everyone reacts different to neglect and the different styles, helped me be a bit more understanding of others too. I highly recommend this book. It was the first book I read on the subject and was a real eye opener and I plan on rereading.

It's a hard book to read emotionally speaking. But it helps you realize where your weaknesses come from. It's a great book to start your healing process and take to the surface the pain from you childhood. I recommend it, but you probably are going to need a therapist or a professional in family constellations if you really want to work through it.