Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man Paperback – January 4, 2022

I just finished “Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man” by Mary Trump.Mary Trump is Donald Trump’s niece, daughter of deceased Donald’s older brother Fred Trump Jr. Mary Trump has a Phd in clinical psychology and has taught graduate courses in developmental psychology, trauma, and psychopathology. As a close family member she has observed the Fred Trump Sr. (Donald’s father) family and Donald Trump.Mary lays out the case in her book that her grandfather Fred Trump Sr was a high functioning sociopath with no ability for empathy while while his wife Mary Anne (the grandmother) was subject to severe physical illnesses and unable to effectively mother the younger children (including Donald) to help them achieve normal emotional and mental maturity. The overall story of the Fred Trump Sr family is both sad and at times somewhat horrifying especially for the younger children. Not having a healthy parenting relationship Fred Jr descended into alcoholism and health problems rooted in trying to please a father incapable of giving acceptance to a child he felt was weak. Exposed to the emotional bullying and cruelty of Fred Sr’s example, Donald developed a unique personality of emotional and verbal bullying, a complete lack of empathy, and a narcissistic personality rooted in never receiving the love he needed as a child.No doubt the diehard Donald Trump lovers and supporters will never see any truth to Mary Trump’s claims and will dismiss the whole book as either an attempt to cash in on Donald Trump’s name or as sour grapes for the rest of the Trump family trying to cut Fred Jr’s descendants out of Fred Sr’s nearly 1 billion dollar estate.And no doubt diehard Donald Trump haters will seize on every negative word about Donald Trump as truth. What makes Mary’s book and analysis convincing to me is that the great majority of her observations and conclusions reinforce what has become obvious from Donald Trump’s own words and the previous revelations of others close to the president. From the very beginning it was an embarrassment to me to see Donald Trump’s televised portions of his first cabinet meetings start off with each official in turn heaping ridiculous amounts of empty praise on Donald Trump. People are indeed known by the company they keep and it was clear that Donald needed ridiculous amounts of daily flattery to soothe his ego. Mary has stated that Donald Trump’s ego is a thing that can never get enough praise because inside he knows that he is actually a failure and a fraud. Donald has compensated for this need by developing a tendency to constantly exaggerate and lie about his own accomplishments and knowledge. Notice in news conferences when it’s obviously something Donald was not aware of - It becomes “nobody knew” even when it was something that his officials and others clearly knew about before hand.One of the more interesting things that Mary says about Donald Trump is that he has been “institutionalized” his entire adult life in that he has never had to survive as an adult on his own skills and abilities. Fred Sr, his father, came to see Donald as a useful tool who could carry forth his business legacy - as long as Fred was pumping in very large sums of money and providing the necessary political contacts to make Donald appear successful. Fred’s reward in this was knowing that Donald’s early business “successes” were all due to Fred’s wealth and contacts. And Donald had the aggressive personality that was lacking in his older son Fred Jr that Fred Sr so wanted in his sons. Now of course in the White House up close Donald is surrounded by suck-ups who cover for their boss as much as they are able. (Unfortunately for them Donald hates preparations and often goes off the rails as soon as he gets on camera - My own personal observation based on what I see of Donald Trump’s news conferences.)One thing that has often mystified me about some apparently successful people is how clearly needy they are of praise from others. I had a boss like that once. I have often wondered how a successful Individual could be so needing of, at times, empty praise. Previously I had though in those cases that possibly it was the need for praise that drove the individual to excel. In Donald’s case it appears that it is a constant need for praise that drives the lying and exaggeration to create the illusion of success.Unless you are a die hard Trump supporter who can see no truth to negative statements about your “hero” I recommend Mary’s book. While there are relatively few new revelations about Donald Trump that have not come out in the pre-publication revelations or other sources, the book presents a coherent story, view, and analysis of Donald Trump and why he is the way he is. The book is very readable and tells a sad but interesting story of a truly screwed up family.

My review is a testament to the relative authenticity of the book. As a mental health professional myself, as one who has followed the news closely for the last four years, Mary Trump’s book, its contents and conclusion’s ring true.A man of Trump’s nature should not have been accorded presidential powers. This much we know. Mary Trump, PhD in psychology and Donald the president’s niece, shows us in simple terms why this is true. As a former family therapist myself, I have long been aware of Trump’s psychopathology and corruption. Dr. Trump gives us the details, how it evolved and how she saw it play out over time.Our president lies a lot. This we also know. Dr. Trump corroborates the belief of some mental health professionals that some lies take root in his mind and he believes them, becoming delusional. She shows us how he manages to create a toxic environment wherever he goes. Indeed, he flourishes under the umbrella of his “toxic positivity”, his much rosier than warranted view of life. The cost for our country is great: ‘Nero fiddles, while Rome burns’, meaning we are left with an ineffectual leader who does little (other than his usual self-aggrandizement) during times of crisis. He berates people, countries, institutions etc. ‘in need’ for being ‘weak’, as part of his perverse ideas about humanity.Donald formed as he did thanks partially to the machinations of his sociopathic, demanding and unloving father and an absent, self-serving mother. He consequently is not able to care about the needs of our country, the power of our constitution, rule of law, or core, albeit flawed, institutions that help hold it all together. In true narcissistic style, it is all about him.In true sociopathic style, with Donald Trump it's always ‘poor me’. Sociopaths typically want people to pity them. They are not apt to care about who or what gets hurt along the way. Indeed, Donald Trump is on a path to dismantle our democracy and replace it with an authoritarian form of government-----so he can continue getting the positive attention he craves. He further wants freedom from reasonable constraints and to have his pockets lined with all the riches he can garner---no matter what the destructive effects of his policies and utterances. We have seen all that Trump has to offer. His niece shows us how it evolved and why it will only get worse if he remains in power.I occasionally feel sorry for the guy, Donald. He doesn’t understand what he is doing, isn’t capable of being better. That said, I feel far sorrier for our America and the rest of the free world that is paying the price for our Big Mistake in electing him. We would have done Donald J. Trump and our America a big favor if we simply had not put him in the White House.Dr. Trump’s book could have honed in a bit more on the question of individual responsibility. Did Donald the president have to go the way of Fred Sr., the tyrannical father? We wish Donald had taken a different path, a path towards enlightenment, truth, nobility---as the author Mary, daughter of Fred Jr., has done---though perhaps father and son lack an ‘empathy gene’? He became instead a sycophant to his father (and other authoritarian leaders) and to gather under himself willing sycophants. He chooses lies, distortion and delusion over the beauty and comfort that more righteous personalities find in the truth. Perhaps it was the promise of gobs of money and self-importance that determined Donald’s fate. Perhaps our current dilemma is due to, as Dr. Trump posits, the power his father still holds over him.*Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man* is well-written and highly readable. I appreciate the author’s clarity in contrast to the distortion and delusion that are visited upon us from most Trumps. Throughout all of history, Donald Trump will surely be known as the Big Mistake that almost brought our democratic republic down, and the Big Mistake that caused the rest of the free world to begin moving on without us. Dr. Mary Trump is doing her part to mitigate against the threat posed by her Uncle Donald.