35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say That Widen the Diversity Gap

This was an easy read with lots of great insight and humor.

Needs to be updated a bit, as references ro GLBT community seemed a bit out of date, and predated the SCOTUS ruling legalizing same sex marriage in the US Otherwise, a helpful guide to those trying to avoid saying some of these “dumb things.”

I heard the author speak in 2018 and this book is a light read. I work in HR and have given this book to managers in the US and the UK. The Point is easily taken and behavior changes are immediate. The author gives examples like “I have a friend who is ….” Explains why that is not ideal.. and offers an alternative.. if I could give this 10 stars I would. We’re giving this as prizes for Black History Month activity at work

While a little out of date (the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage since this was written), it is perfect for helping colleagues who say things they should not. It explains what the ramifications are of saying something “dumb” but well intended, how it impacts the message receiver, and what to do when (not if) they say something they should not. Easy to read and digest.

This book does a good job of explaining the basic concepts of how to be more inclusive and think of others. Unfortunately, it's now incredibly dated. Some language in our society has improved, but not everyone understands the underlying concepts - so we now have change on the surface., that doesn't really address the lack of inclusivity. Also, the author used many examples from her own life, and these examples sometimes fall short of an ideal demonstration of her concept. In the concepts section, the author provides a story of an "explain away" in which someone tried to tell her that an experience she had that smacked of being thought of as "less then" by male car salesmen who probably thought a woman wouldn't be a good person to sell a car to. She identifies the person explaining away as a black male. What does the male being black have to do with this? Simply the fact that the explain away-er is not a woman is enough. This same story just wasn't as crystal clear as what many people experience with explain aways. I am sure the author could find people who are willing to share their experiences in an updated version of the book. This would allow her to draw from a greater pool of experience, while also using more real-life stories from people in various groups. Overall, the point the author tries to make about the way in which someone who can't really understand the frustrations of marginalized people, minorities, or other folks who simply aren't understood by the majority in our society is an important one, and it's worth keeping this current to help people truly be able to connect with one another when that is what they are trying to do. The points the author tries to make in this book can make people with the best intentions much more effective at listening and getting along with others.

I didn't realize that I was making people uncomfortable when I was trying to make them more comfortable. I feel kind of confused on how to proceed. I can apologize, but my mouth seems to have a mind of it's own and I say something stupid. I guess I will do the best that I can. I would like more books or information.

This book is clear console and well written. More organizations and people should read this if you want to be more culturally aware and ensure you are a change agent for people who aren't.

This book is right to the point, provides good analogies and relatable stories to fill in concepts and suggestions. It is an easy read; and a great opener to broadening one’s ability to overcome communication barriers when it comes to healing and empowering those of us who have been disadvantaged.

Excellent book, simply written but powerfully relevant. I am a diversity trainer and I recommend this to all my delegates. My only gripe is that I contacted Dr. Cullen via her website email as I would like to know if it is printed in other languages but have not recieved any acknowledgment or response and that's sad.

This was an easy, compassionate, down-to-earth read that I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend if you're wondering why you "can't" say certain things. Unfortunately, the editor left too many errors in this to make it a smooth read. But still get it.

Read in one sittng. Found it to be very informative.