Conversations with Friends: A Novel

I really loved this book. A lot of reviews critique the plot, which I found more or less irrelevant, or the main character's likability. I actually loved how unlikable the main character was. This book is worth reading just for Rooney's incredible descriptions and characterization. Are these the most fascinating characters I've ever encountered in a book? No. But her characters have this really delightful way of surprising you. You think of them one way, and then they say or do something and all the dynamics take a fun twist. I do have two issues to mention. -One- When I first started this book I wasn't sure I would enjoy it at all because I have already read Normal People and the main character is so similar to Marianne. Eventually Rooney's writing itself won me over, but sometimes I can't enjoy multiple books from the same author because the patterns become too pronounced and this book felt that way at first. I might have liked it even more if it was my first read by this author. -Two- SPOILER I was disappointed by the way the queer relationships were depicted in this book. I wish the book had spent more time developing the Bobbi and Frances dynamic. I believe Frances is meant to have lasting feelings about Bobbi dumping her, but so much time is spent on her myopic obsession with Nick that her desire for Bobbi doesn't really come across. The love scenes between Nick and Frances are sexy, whereas the physical tension between Frances and Bobbi is barely mentioned. I liked that they got back together in the end, but then Frances and Nick had a phone call that made it seem that she was going to go right back to him a month later which I found disappointing. I can only imagine this ruining their friendship (again) which is a shame because I think their friendship/dynamic would have been interesting if it had been explored more.

This was the first book I finished all year. I have struggled finding a book that captivates me after 2 chapters. Conversations with Friends was slow at times, with multiple characters introduced with small importance, however, this novel had a little bit of everything. Friendship, relationship, and family dynamics. Although I wish there was more explanation to what happens to France’s and Bobbi’s relationship, along with the outcome of her fathers struggles, I would recommend this novel to my friends.

Frances is 21 years old, works at a job she is not at all engaged with and almost would seem to prefer to not have, goes to college, and performs her spoken word poetry with her best friend/ex-girlfriend Bobbi at night. The latter has gotten enough attention to draw into their orbit Melissa, a 30something writer and photographer who wants to profile them, and her husband Nick, a working actor who has found only minor success. While Melissa and Bobbi hit it off, Frances and Nick develop a connection of their own and it’s not too long before they wind up in bed together. This doesn’t feel like a spoiler, as it is very obvious that it’s going to end up there. This obviously has reverberations for Frances’s relationships with both Bobbi and Melissa. Sally Rooney is one of those authors that has a devoted following, so I was really excited to start reading her work with this, her debut novel. But if I’m being honest, I didn’t really understand the fuss. This is a character book, which I’m inclined to like, but without a character I found compelling. Frances is a frustrating protagonist. Not because she’s aimless or sleeps with someone else’s husband or is trying to figure out who she is, but because she’s just not very interesting while she’s doing all of that. I didn’t find her unlikeable, I just found her boring. I found myself wondering why and even if I was supposed to care about her or her connections with Nick, Bobbi, and Melissa. I had a hard time understanding how a person seemingly so empty and detached could write poetry that was engaging enough to get anyone’s attention. What kept my interest was the quality of the prose. Rooney’s writing is subtle, and she has a real knack for dialogue and descriptions. Her words are clearly deliberately chosen but she never slides into flowery language. Her use of language alone makes me want to read her other books, but I hope they’re better than this one.

I got on the Sally Rooney train after reading Normal People, and I've read every single book she's put out since then. I adore her stream of consciousness style of writing and I find all her stories to be such wonderful character studies. If there's anything this woman can do, it's write a character that is so, so, annoying but tragically relatable. Her debut novel, Conversations with Friends, perfectly encapsulates that feeling. The story follows two women in their twenties who get involved with an older 'cool' married couple, illustrating the age old adage of "No, you don't get it, they're not right for each other and we are!!" It's a tired trope, but people fall for it all the time in real life so it makes sense. In this book, however, it's more interesting because you have the main characters' thoughts at all times, so it's easy to empathize and, as the reader, you do. It's a great story, honestly. It really captures the chaos and bad decision making that is your twenties, in a way the feels interesting and sad and tragic and cool- all the things I thought I was in my twenties lol I think the main reason you should read it though is because Sally Rooney always has a lot of really intelligent and interesting things to say and this book is full of those things. Read it!

Set in Ireland, CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS is about two friends, Frances and Bobbi, who develop a relationship with a privileged married couple. Frances is attracted to the husband, Nick, and that plot line is the main focus of the novel. I wasn’t sure what to think about this book for the first few chapters. It didn’t seem to be going anywhere, and the characters seemed to chatter rather than say anything meaningful. But at some point, it caught my interest, and by the end of the book I discovered I liked it a lot. I understand the negative reviewers who describe this book as a lot of whining by self-centered 20 year olds. It took me awhile to warm up to the characters, and even then, I was only really interested in Frances and Nick and their vulnerabilities. The narrative reads less like a plot-driven novel and more like an introspective of Frances. I think that’s the point. Yes, she is immature and insecure, and she makes a lot of selfish choices. In the end, I’m not sure she even regrets those choices. But when I looked at her life through the lens of her relationship with her alcoholic father and enabling mother, and what it means to be an adult child of an alcoholic, the book came together for me. Nick’s issues with depression and his willingness to please adds another layer that explains a lot about their relationship. Reviewers also pointed out the often overly simplistic sentence structure. It worked for me because the book was told by Frances and the staccato-like syntax reflected the rhythm of her thought after thought after thought. It gave me more insight into her insecurities and confusion as she grapples with who she is and what actually makes her happy. At other times, when for a moment we were more in the setting than in Frances’s head, the writing is stop-in-your-tracks gorgeous. I think the combination of writing style is a testament to Rooney’s gift for language. This is not a book for everyone, which accounts for the love-it or hate-it reviews, but I enjoyed it and look forward to reading more by this author.

I've been wanting to read more literary fiction by my peers, and my curiosity was piqued when I heard an interview with Sally Rooney while driving around in my home state of Massachusetts, and then I met her classmate later in Dublin, who gave me "Mr. Salary", which was sharp and excellent. (Almost as perfect as short stories can get. WOW.) So I felt driven to buy her novel. I don't always have staying power with books, but I read this one from cover to cover in a few days. I didn't agree with Frances' choice in the end, and I loved the fact that I felt invested enough to care. I wanted to go with her through to "The End". The dialogue was wonderful, and I ate up the book -- not just because of the chemistry generated between the characters, but because on a mechanical level I wanted to study "how the author did what she did" -- so many scenes were pitched just right, compelling, and exquisite. The storyline stays wonderfully tight and on-point, and follows a logical sequence, with each emotional development building on the last. At about 2/3rds of the way through, the protagonist reaches an acute level of misery, and I admittedly found it a bit harder to read. It was hard on an emotional level (which is great -- no reason the author shouldn't put us through that, if it's the truth!), but my own tiniest criticism is that I think the storytelling could have dialed back on the statements of misery. The first 2/3rds is so beautifully stark that the way Frances' breakdown is told feels like a shift in diction. (But then again, weren't we all agonized and angsty in our early 20's? In that sense, Sally hit the right note, one that most of us shy/squirm away from!!) Brilliant book, and I felt viscerally and sensually within the narrative the entire time (deeply cringing when I read Melissa's long email, as if it was directed at me... or watching Frances wearing the sports coat, looking like a "candle"... etc. etc.) I will read it / flip through it again just to study it more. Loved how it was both physical and highly cerebral, and adored the intimate and frank look at women's sexuality and health as well. Incredible accomplishment, and I am excited to see what she writes next!!

Sally Rooney brings “torn between two lovers” to a new level. The first person narrator, Frances, who identifies as bisexual, is in love with Bobbi, her female ex-lover and Nick the husband of Melissa. Nick and Melissa are Bobbi’s friends, and Frances is caught in a triangulation relationship with Melissa and Bobbi when she begins having an affair with Nick. Bobbi and Frances are college students; Melissa and Nick are in their thirties. There are age and economic differences among the four protagonists. There are questions about the sanctity and value of marriage. Discussions about monogamy and other questionable values systems are commonplace when Sally Rooney creates millennial characters. Conversations with Friends is the first of Sally Rooney’s books, and after reading the other two, I decided to go back and read this one in anticipation of the new Hulu adaptation. It is my least favorite of her books because of its rambling conversations and thin plot. However, Rooney appeals to millennials and certainly captures their disenfranchisement, political rants, economic anxiety, and existential dread and self-hate. I cannot summarize the viewpoints as well as these quotes from the novel: Bobbi says, “...monogamy was based on a commitment model, which served the needs of men in patrilineal societies by allowing them to pass property to their genetic offspring, traditionally facilitated by sexual entitlement to a wife. Nonmonogamy could be based on an alternative model completely, Bobbi said. Something more like spontaneous consent.” (p. 241). Kindle Edition. The discussion of love, the human spirit, and mental health intermingle with capitalism. “if you look at love as something other than an interpersonal phenomenon and try to understand it as a social value system… it’s both antithetical to capitalism, in that it challenges the axiom of selfishness which dictates the whole logic of inequality and yet also it’s subservient and facilitatory i.e. mothers selflessly raising children without any profit motive.” (p. 174). Kindle Edition. “To love someone under capitalism you have to love everyone. Is that theory or just theology?” (p.286) Kindle Edition “...depression is a humane response to the conditions of late capitalism.” (p. 119). Kindle Edition.

A novel highlighting the reality that relationships are often much more complicated than we can prepare ourselves for. Sally Rooney has a poetic writing style that creates a vivid experience and, at the same time, allows for a very natural read. It does start out a bit slow and very ambiguous; however, once I got through the first three or so chapters, I could not put it down. I kept with it, and I am glad I did! Although it is written from the main character Frances' singular perspective, you become introduced to the other main characters from the beginning. They become more and more defined and, the way the story progresses adds suspense and realistic layers that exist in all relationships. I did become slightly apprehensive due to some of the more descriptive explicit content. With that said, it was not overly egregious and did not take away from the overall enjoyment of the novel. Sally Rooney did a fantastic job of capturing the confusion, heartache, and complicated reality of falling in and defining love.