Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

I initially came across Unorthodox as a Netflix series. On learning that it was partly based on a book, I bought a copy immediately! I have to say that the book is much more hard-hitting than the nevertheless good Netflix series... and such compulsive reading that I read it in one go! It's a very interesting insight into the Satmar branch of Hasidism, and I would recommend this book for anyone interested in religious groups.

This was such an interesting book. The Hassidic community in Brooklyn in the 21st century, so thoroughly exotic and strange, yet the author- a bold, curious modern woman like me.For a woman, reading it was a bit uncomfortable, all that blame, somehow, in that culture, women are always at fault. " If you let a man see your leg by accident in the street ,you make him sin, and the responsibility is yours. How ridiculous.Yet, there was also explanation on why the post Holocaust community might think what they do, the isolation, the attitude toward " the others". I loved the character of Bubby, the grandmother, but learnt to sympathise and feel sorry for some of those male characters, like the author's grandfather or even her husband.It is not simple. The book was very well written, and I will most likely read the sequel, too.

I am not usually a very fast reader, but I finished reading this captivating book in record time. Having lived in both New York and London, ultra-orthodox Jewish life had always been a personal curiosity that I knew vibrantly existed in my city, but my exposure to it had always been limited. This book has finally provided first-hand insights into the lives of this unique and highly insular part of the society. Along with her difficult personal journey from restrictive circumstances to freedom, Deborah Feldman introduced so many intriguing concepts, beliefs, and practices by Satmar Jews which explain why this community remains so fearful and isolated to this day. If you have also watched the series "Unorthodox", you will notice that the book provides a lot more detail and a slightly different narrative leading to Deborah's exit from the community. Overall, this was such a compelling read, and I look forward to reading more books by Deborah. She writes beautifully, and her powerful story is truly a source of inspiration for all humans, men and women alike.

I couldn’t put this down it was fascinating. It started out with the voice of the young girl so clearly. That voice matured with the years but remained full of life and desire to be free.

I lived in a quiet, leafy neighborhood of LA as a young woman. Coming from Ireland in the 80s I had a nievety that still prevented my seeing much beyond Catholicism. I often saw women wearing wigs and men with side curls and unusual hats out walking, always in family groups and was deeply curious about them as they were so foreign to my limited experience of life thus far. My main impression from this story is how, from very early on this young girl knew that she was not born to live her destiny confined to the rules, structures and conventions of the culture and religion she was brought up to believe were the only truth. What wonderful strength of character and drive to be true to who she was destined to become... and still becoming. A story of hope, and trusting her own truth to lead her through life. Congratulations Deborah on choosing to live and not conform. A wonderful read, sometimes shocking, sometimes shockingly familiar.

I was quite mesmerised by this book. I hadn’t then seen the TV series, which I now have, and the book is actually much more hard-hitting. The author’s description of the awful conditions in which she was brought up in a religious community in Brooklyn beggar believe that this sort of thing can happen in 21st century America. Unfortunately it rings true, and is one of those outstanding debut novels where the author speaks from dreadful personal experience. Sometimes the prose is a little bit long winded for my liking, which is why I’ve given it four stars not five, but I do unhesitatingly recommend it to anyone interested in religion and religious communities.

Compulsive reading, far better than the Netflix series which departed from the facts and got very lost. Well written, although possibly not entirely open about the author's relationship with her mother, who also left the Hasidic community, but it's every author's prerogative to choose what they include. A powerful work by a rare writer.

A heartwarming story very well told!

A 10 anni di distanza dalla sua pubblicazione, molti verranno attirati a questo volume dopo aver visto la mini-serie su Netflix (me compreso), la quale è certamente interessante ma che è molto meno profonda dell'originale cartaceo. Deborah (Devoiri) Feldman ci porta per mano nella vita anacronistica, iper-conservatrice ed auto-referenziale della setta di ebrei chassidici di Satmar, stanziati a New York e non lontani dalla vita glamour e liberale della Grande Mela. La vita è strettamente governata da un'interpretazione integralista dell'ebraismo, con una netta separazione fra uomo e donna, repressione sessuale, matrimoni da 10 figli, una vita quotidiana scandita dalla lingua yiddish e con l'inglese relegato a mera necessità. Veramente difficile immaginare che nella patria del capitalismo ci siano ancora gruppi così chiusi ed oscurantisti. Feldman dà prova di grande maestria nel relazionarci i suoi conflitti interiori, che deflagheranno definitivamente dopo il suo matrimonio a 17 anni e la sua maternità a 19. Si renderà infatti conto di essere sposata ad un uomo che non conosce veramente, di non avere alcuna istruzione secolare e quindi nessuna prospettiva nel mondo "di fuori", prendendo la sofferta decisione di lasciare la sua comunità. Un libro bellissimo e coinvolgente, al termine del quale il pensiero va a tutte quelle persone in giro per il mondo che dalla loro prigione di oscurantismo non sono riuscite ad evadere.

I did a fair amount of reading on Judaism and different Jewish cultures, history and practices. I sifted through literature trying to understand what does it mean to be Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Mizrachi, Maghrebi, Haredi or Beta Israel Jew. However, when it comes to the daily life of Haredi or Hasidic Jewish communities, literature is almost silent. Yes, there is some light shed on the general practices of Ultra-orthodox sects but beyond that, nothing much. My curiosity towards ultra-conservative jewish sects is not tainted with judgement. I just wanted to learn about their culture. Who am I to judge anybody anyway? Ms. Feldman paints a vivid picture of what is it like to be a girl in a Yiddish-speaking Satmar Hasidic community in Brooklyn. She brilliantly describes the preparing for and rituals of the sabbath, Yum Kippur and numerous other occasions the Hasidim celebrate zealously. Their lives are dedicated to studying the Torah and Talmud from an early age. The little things that we usually overlook like how to be modest, talk, behave, read, watch, preparing meals, keeping kosher, going to yeshivas, marriage arrangements and many other things from the Hasidim perspective. Ms. Feldman got a lot of criticism from Jews and non-Jews such as Shmarya Rosenberg about the content of the book. You can read both points of view and judge for yourself. The criticism does not undermine the value of the book, however. If you're interested in the costumes and daily life of the Hasidim, this the book is for you. A little background of basic Jewish costumes helps a lot with reading this book. I enjoyed every page and emerged with more info about this overlooked sect. @shakirbahzad

Last year I caught a documentary about Williamsburg in New York City and Ms. Feldman was one of the people interviewed and presented. She grew up in a Hasidic community and left it in her early 20s. Since I am very interested in memoirs and fiction that deal with the process of breaking out of fundamentalist religious communities, I was looking forward to the publication of this memoir. It was worth the wait. The book held me captivated from the first pages. First of all, Feldman tells a very interesting story. While she illustrates all of the restrictions that she had to live with every day of her life - and they are rather incredible for anybody not living in such a community - she never really speaks in a mean or disrespectful manner about the people she grew up with. In fact, she tries to understand where they are coming from and to see the good things her family gave her. Yet she does not shy away from difficult topics. She talks about her mother who left her little daughter behind as she herself flew from the community and about her father who seems to have cognitive problems. She relates how this situation led to her being treated differently from other children and how she always felt like an outsider in her own community. I imagine it can't be easy writing about these things. Yet Feldman digs even deeper into the stuff that nobody in this Hasidic community really wants to talk about: the sexual problems she and her husband encountered, which were mostly caused by the extreme sexual repression and, more precisely, the negative view of feminine sexuality in this community. I find her very open and courageous when she relates these issues. Apart from this gripping coming-of-age story the story telling itself deserves mention: This is high quality writing. It is nothing spectacular - but that is exactly what makes it so good: Both the general outline and the language are absolutely convincing, the language flows well, it is never wordy, and it feels just right all the time. Feldman does not turn her memoirs into too much of a literary experiment. She relies on the power of her story. A good choice.

La lecture de ce livre a été à la fois agréable, énervante, triste, drôle, révoltante et touchante...oui le tout à la fois. Je suis quelqu’un qui lit lentement et qui a aussi tendance à beaucoup prendre les choses à cœur et donc j’ai dû le lire en plusieurs fois, en faisant des pauses de plusieurs jours voire semaines. Beaucoup de passages m’ont révolté car je me disais que c’était inconcevable, qu’il fallait marcher sur la tête pour encore perpétrer certaines pratiques. Cet engouement est sûrement lié au fait que je me suis reconnue. J’ai grandi dans un milieu religieux et eu beaucoup de mal à m’en défaire. Tout comme elle je me suis souvent posée des questions. Des questions qui dérangent car on doit prendre les choses comme elles sont et puis c’est tout. Je suis contente qu’il y ait un « happy ending » malgré toutes ses galères, ça a été le cas pour moi aussi. J’ai du mettre de l’espace entre ce qui me dérangeait pour aller vers ce qui me correspondait le mieux. Je recommande cette lecture.