In the Dream House: A Memoir

A 1000x better than expected, and I expected nothing short of holy scripture. Months earlier I stumbled upon the description and knew this book would be monumental. As early reviews crept in, my anticipation grew. I had my Kindle fully charged and stayed up until midnight so I could start reading the second it released. By 2am I was 30% done. A few marathon readings later, I reached the last page with breathless finality. The result? Monumental doesn't even begin to cover it. The funny thing, it's not monumental because of what happens. Bad relationships happen all the time. Abusive relationships, mental and/or physical, happen all the time. It's talked about less in queer relationships, that's true, and Machado does a great job pointing that out, but I doubt anybody will be dumbfounded by what they read. They will be surprised, however, that there's someone brave enough to talk about it, and by how personal she's willing to get. They will be surprised by how she structures it. The structure really is what makes this a masterpiece. It's not just the experience, it's the delivery. The darkest memories are brilliantly conveyed in second person and through varying lens. Most of them literary devices. Machado recounts her life through the eyes of Chekhov's Gun, Choose Your Own Adventure, Haunted House, Erotica, Plot Twist, and dozens more. Each section is short and precise. Never a wasted word. For those uncomfortable reading about abuse, she doesn't take it too far either. This isn't battered woman porn. She doesn't go on and on. We get snippets, glimpses of a life that we can easily piece together, and, more importantly, relate to. What she accomplishes for the queer community specifically, I think, is breaking the ice. After hard-fought battles for marriage equality, there's this unspoken rule that gay relationships must work. If they don't, people will point and say I told you so. By extension, rights may be taken away. Obviously that's not the only factor that kept Machado in her relationship. It may not even be in the Top 10, but it is a shadow that hovers over the scene. She points to lesbian stereotypes as well. Society expects men to be abusive, but two women? Their relationship should be a utopia, right? These stereotypes, this ice, is something she clearly wants to break apart. And she succeeds tremendously. Of course you don't have to be queer to recognize this is a master work of memoir and creative non-fiction. It is a testament that all experiences, however ordinary or unique, should be shared. Perhaps the most powerful aspect of the book is the relentless honesty. She veils it slightly by the structure and 2nd person, but in a way this makes the experience more real. More true. And the accomplishment, I think, is for any one person to read this and be able to know that, for sure, they are not alone.

This book was fantastic! Honestly an incredible story and very real. I think people can’t understand the way a non-physically abusive relationship can really feel, and this author captures that fantastically. I only removed a star because the hardcover book (even though I paid $26 for it and it came shrink wrapped) was used… I was very surprised to see someone else’s silver, sparkly underlining in the book. It’s upsetting because I hateee writing in books I love and because I could’ve bought a used version for a cheaper price. So beware that the seller is taking used products, re-wrapping them, and charging you top dollar :) I bought both the hard and soft cover, gifted the soft.

I have never read a Machado book before, though I am familiar with her experimental style of writing. Her collection of short experiences to tell her heartbreaking tale had me seeing life with a new perspective. I will say that in the book I found Carmen's character to be a bit unbelievable in the first 40 pages, however as I went on I drastically altered my opinion. Later in the book she has a "choose your own adventure" section that I was skeptical about, however it worked so well I would not be surprised if more authors began construction sections in their books this way. In the shortest chapter, the author writes once sentence. this sentence had me staring at this page for five minutes, wishing she was wrong and thinking about my own experiences until I realized how right she was. Amazing work, love her, love the transparency, and I love the vulnerability she has the courage to show.

(I’ve read this book before, just adding my review) This is my first Carmen Maria Machado book, and I’m so glad it is. Machado writes about such a dark time in her life in such a beautiful way. I loved her use of magical realism throughout. I also loved her nods to horror films in some parts. She really has inspired me with so many parts of this book. Can’t wait to read more of her work!

I was amazed by the authors writing skills; I found the format interesting. But I was ultimately left empty-handed. I have no idea how she coped; what were the motivations of each person. There was not much useful to broadening my understanding of domestic violence that would help me resolve my own experiences and help other women. I did have the impression that she was young and maybe that's why it was lacking in accessibility and more of a display of talent and skills.

I’ve got a feminine brain in a masculine body. Love subtle, lesbian erotica.

I only recently re-entered the world of female non-fiction (not necessarily feminist, but female authors writing on subjects related to female living), and am reading this work as a part of a "book club," if you will. This review is not about Machado's experience, which is actually quite universal to all abusive relationships (to which I have great empathy), but to the book itself. The book follows, very generally, Machado's foray into an abusive relationship that happens to be a queer one (she being, from my understanding of the work, bisexual and her partner a maybe-polyamorous lesbian? A better description is her lover is presented as someone with a severe personality disorder that manifested itself onto Machado and transcends sexuality). The experience is given in a series of vignettes, intermixed with other vignettes on subject matters such as the art of vignettes/short stories/fables and academic-esque musings on lesbian culture. I get that it is hard to write about difficult personal things, so short form might be easier because of the "quick-in-quick-out", but it makes the story disjointed. There is an underlying current of mental dismantling though, so maybe the argument for this structure is to mirror this precipitous state. The book references that during this time Machado was finishing her MFA, and her work was not great. It would have been interesting to hear more about her work and day-to-day in her graduate program rather than just snapshots of social interactions with others versus social interactions with her partner. She only lightly touches on the bleeding edge of abuse. There is also something to be said though, about professional/academic writers writing about their states during writing. It can be incredibly boring for an average reader who is has a life more tethered to reality rather than academia. So maybe that is another thought on this... The book generally brought me back to my undergrad days hanging out at Bluestockings, when I had the time to really look and reflect on my chosen relationships rather than the socio-economic ties and required obligations that drive me now (mortgage, children, etc.). If you find this type of self-exploration and reflection indulgent or even narcissistic this book is not for you. If you have the capacity to read a very academically written queer relationship and general abuse story, then the book is worthwhile.

I finished reading In the Dream House a few days ago and waited to post a review— my attempt to collect my thoughts and come up with something wonderful and worthy to say about it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to convey how incredible this book is and why I loved it—but here is my review anyways. . In the Dream House is a beautifully written memoir that is also wildly creative in that the author plays with form and structure. Carmen Maria Machado writes about her experiences in an abusive lesbian relationship using metaphor— likening her relationship and ex-girlfriend to a house. Machado then takes on various genres, literary tropes, and plot devices and writes chapters and vignettes in those styles. I particularly loved her use of “choose your own adventure” to show the reader the cyclical nature of abuse in her relationship. . As I stated above, I’m not sure I can describe this book— it’s beautiful, moving, sad, hopeful, and just incredible. I loved it and highly, highly, highly recommend it! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (5/5)

Diesem Buch wünsche ich jede Menge Leset und Lesrrinnen. Möge es jenen helfen, die in derselben Situation sind, und auch deren Angehörigen. Es braucht Mut, um über solch intime und schmerzhafte Erfahrungen zu sprechen - gut also dass Carmen Machado es wagt.

I feel like this memoir has the perfect balance between reader-friendliness and depth of content. As I was reading it, I felt like my brain was exploding. The book combines the author's narrative about her experience in a toxic same-sex relationship with some theoretical perspectives on queerness. It is truly fascinating.

llegó rápido y en perfectas condiciones!! muy buen libro

Um dos melhores livros escritos na humanidade.

READ THIS IF... you like memoir, lyrical prose, and aren’t afraid to read about difficult topics. THE STORY... Carmen narrates her experience of an abusive same sex relationship. I WAS... intrigued by this memoir, as I loved Carmen’s short story collection enough to dedicate a chapter of my dissertation to it, and I wanted to see how her writing style translated to nonfiction. Her writing retained its beauty, and blended seamlessly with her ideas, and the academic sources that she cited. It was illuminating to learn more about the history of domestic abuse, and by placing this within her story Carmen made this so much more meaningful. One of my favourite chapters discussed the concept of queer villainy, and Carmen perfectly summed up the problem with marking all queer villains as harmful stereotypes by saying ‘when we refuse wrongdoing for a group of people, we refuse their humanity.’ Each chapter had a, for lack of a better term, mic drop moment - where I either learnt something, or another layer of the story was revealed. I loved this book, and I can honestly say that Carmen Maria Machado is one of the most talented authors that I’ve encountered. It goes without saying that this book dealt with very serious topics and was genuinely upsetting - I would advise caution if depiction of abusive relationships could trigger or upset you. However, if this is something you feel able to read, you will not regret picking it up. NOW... I would recommend this to everyone - it’s so relevant, so beautifully written, and so emotive. I definitely want to re-read Carmen’s short story collection ‘Her Body and Other Parties’, and I need to get my hands on her comic book series ‘The Low, Low Woods’.