Freckled: A Memoir of Growing up Wild in Hawaii (Memoir Series Book 1)

I just loved this book so much - I'm so grateful to the author for having taken the time to organize, articulate, and share the story of her youth. It just has so much truth in it; it's raw and deep, exciting and honest. I also absolutely love the audiobook reader's voicing of the memoir and was delighted to learn that she too grew up in Hawaii. I've never had any overwhelming wish to go to Hawaii, at least no more so than many other places in the world, but I did very much enjoy learning a bit about the culture through the lens of the author's childhood and teen years. It may seem strange at first glance, but this memoir often reminded me of the Little House on the Prairie books -- every chapter is another completely unexpected family or private adventure -- though some of the "adventures" are rather more gut-wrenching than anything Laura Ingalls Wilder shared with her readers. It also reminded me of the also wonderful How to Say Babylon, perhaps for more obvious reasons.

An extremely satisfying story of life in ‘Paradise’ thru the eyes of a sensitive and resilient child, as she grows to maturity thru her own strength. Though I grew up in the Maryland suburbs near Washington DC, I ran towards Hawaii in 1970 at 20 , on my own trip of continuing self- discovery. I too lived in the dichotomy of the fantastic positives of the islands where my mom was born in 1921, and the inevitable dark moments that are the scars of every life story, even in Paradise. My love for my Hawaii home became an addiction I too have never given up. I found the memories of Toby beautifully expressed, as she manages the balance of exposing her life in all its bare honesty, from exhilarating to devastating across the childhood and adolescent continuum. It touched me deeply as I pondered the many ways my life and Toby’s paralleled emotionally. I believe there is an experience of life thru the soul of an injured child, to a matured and wise adult, that can speak truth to almost anyone. I highly recommend spending time with FRECKLED. Many thanks for this, Toby. Aloha, Nora

Hawaii: this story is as tragic as it is inspirational, and true to the cliche that you can't judge a book by the cover. The book is honest and full of detail and vivid memories of so many things that happened during the childhood of the author. In each scenario, she doesn't present herself as perfect, nor does she assert that all the other people in her life had all the problems. She presents herself as flawed alongside the dysfunction she observed. She had her own struggles, and she also had her own perseverance. Books became her escape, "a magic carpet of adventure ready to take me away any time I open those big stiff covers with their delightful musty library smell." I like that. I think a lot of readers will connect with that sentiment. Without a lot of support, she became determined to succeed and fulfill her potential in spite of repeated and consistent setbacks and frustrations. She saw herself as disadvantaged, but she didn't see herself as a helpless victim. She kept pursuing her dreams. But my favorite thing about this book is the tone of the narrator. Spanning the first 18 years of her life, the author speaks appropriately from the point of view of the age she was in each chapter of her story... trying to understand things she couldn't comprehend... expressing feelings that she was uncertain were the correct way to feel... and you can see her maturing and having to grow up long before she should have. The ability to transform the voice and style of the writing from beginning to end is remarkable, and I don't recall seeing that in a memoir before. That was pretty cool to read. I also appreciate what she shares in the acknowledgements at the end of the book and how some publishers turned her story down because it was "too small" and "too niche." It's not. It makes the reader think about their own childhood from their younger perspective and the things they didn't notice or think about at the time and how those things shaped the person they became. As a parent, it also makes me think about how my own child may look at things he may not understand. Growing up wild in Hawaii sounds adventurous. And it was. But not all adventures are fun. I've never been to Hawaii, but I've always wanted to go there. It looks exotic. It seems like paradise. But to the author of this book, it wasn't a glorified place to be desired. It was simply home. And life there didn't live up to the billing. It came with problems. Just like anywhere. This book is a good reminder that the only life we can live is our own. We each have our struggles, and we each have the opportunity to decide to make the best of it. Kudos to author T.W. Neal for choosing to make the best of it and congratulations to her for the successes she has enjoyed in pursuing her goals and dreams.

Toby Neal has grown so much as a writer since her first Lei Crime novel and her prose is magnificent in this book. She describes small moments with such clarity and rare beauty, it's hard to walk away from her descriptions of the darkest side of paradise. That said, this was a difficult, often painful read for me. Toby's memoir of the first 18 years of her life is evocative yet grim. She has a way of describing things that put you right in the scene...but not scenes where the reader necessarily wants to be. Growing up in primitive, sometimes horrifying circumstances in verdant, seemingly magical Kauai, which in the 70s was pretty much untouched paradise. proved it was often anything but. Her parents are abusive in so many ways and there were times I wanted to punch them both in their reefer-smoking mouths. Reading Toby's remarkably detailed memories from the time she was about three, I am reminded of two other searing memoirs - Thor Heyerdahl's provocative Fatu-Hiva - Back to Nature and also Mandy Sayer's Velocity. As I read the book I was also reminded of the documentary Surfwise, one of the most searing I've ever seen. The father in that movie is a complete crackpot, too. He selfishly denied his many children so many things...reading this book brought it all back to me. Who doesn't fantasize about living off the grid? The reality is harsh and punishing and I cried more than a few times. Toby is an observer here but the pace and the shocking incidents are relentless. There isn't much lightness in this story but it it is inspiring. There are small moments of charm that make up for the awfulness of some her life experiences. You root for her from page one. It's not only her words and delightful use of language but descriptions that brought a smile to my lips as I read - some of the time. That her parents did nothing about her sexual molestation when she was a child is something I cannot get over. And yet, resilient Toby describes small moments with charm and grace. She forgives her parents. And as a reader I see where she got the inspiration for her character Lei Texeira. She describes a visit to Haleiwa as a dirt road with a bridge going over it. That she was there before we spoiled it all is both a gift and probably a great hurt to her. Haleiwa is so commercialized now it's tragic. She lived in the beautiful islands with its magic, rainbows and the underside of its belly is something I don't wish on anybody. Interestingly, she survives and thrives, and has a solid marriage and an astonishingly successful, varied career. I noted with interest that the female survivors from Surfwise also turned out to form strong marital bonds and to make amazing lives for themselves. I wish Toby nothing but the best. I will not forget her story for a long, long time.

Having read this author's fictional works, I was intrigued to read about her life story. At times it is not an easy read as it is told through a child's eyes and you can feel her pain at the way her parents have chosen to live their lives. Choices which mean that she has no chance to be "normal" and just fit in. But it is ultimately a story of resilience and the complexities of family ties and making your own way in the world. The writing is clear and captivating, it is an easy to read book even though, as mentioned, some of the subject matter is not always pleasant. I couldn't put it down and know that it is a book I will re-read in the future.

Wow! I cried, I felt empathy and I felt joy and was so very proud at the outcome! It was as if I had a family connection to Toby, although I do not. I've been reading her books since the first Lei Crime novel, and because I've lived on and spent a lot of time in Hawaii; it has always been just like being there whenever I've read one of her books. This one however; was different in so many ways. Having corresponded with her (years ago, it's not like we're friends :)), I would never have imagined this was the life she had lived. I was aware that she grew up in Hawaii and we had marginally discussed that she had spent some time on the North Shore of Oahu, mostly because that is one of my favorite spots. But I didn't "hear" any sadness or bitterness in the emails we exchanged. This memoir is raw, real, sad, joyful and painful all at the same time. I can now see where some of her Leigh Crime storylines may have originated. If you love her books or have never read her books; if you enjoy memoirs or even if you don't; this one YOU MUST READ. Her life story so far is spellbinding, mesmerizing and so telling. It may make you realize that the life you have lived isn't so bad after all. It may also bring you to understand what the "Phoenix rising from the ashes" really means. Toby, you have outdone yourself!! I'm proud to say I am one of your fans.

This book is very well written and shockingly honest. I learned a lot about Hawaii and the era that it portrays including the racism. The story is about very young, addicted parents who keep having children when they really shouldn't. The surfing and drug culture of that time feels authentic. I wanted to scream at the terribly irresponsible parents ( they ultimately recover from their addictions). I'm surprised none of the four children lost their lives. The parents were in some ways admirable and in other ways, truly disgusting. My only complaint with the book is the very abrupt ending. The writer is very intelligent and bravely honest. I do not know how she forgave her parents, though.

I had this book on my reading list for a long time, somehow forgot about it, until I read Toby Neal's cozy mysteries, and revisited my list to see Toby Neal authored this as well. This memoir was well written. I enjoyed how as the years chronologically progressed, so did the writing styles to reflect her maturing. There is sadness, joy, despair, turmoil but also perseverance and resilience in this memoir. In the midst of the turmoil and not-so-nice circumstances, Toby does not pass judgement or hatred on others, but simply pushes through. It is a tale of mixed circumstances, living off the land and off the grid and succeeding when the world can be both forgiving and unforgiving. Bravo for her success and this memoir. I couldn't stop reading it, I'm sorry I forgot about it on my reading list but glad I rediscovered it.

This is such a well-written book about a fascinating life. The author, Toby, captures the adventurous childhood of a life lived mainly outdoors in Hawaii, including the magic and excitement seen through the eyes of a child. Her descriptions of the jungle, the sea, and the Hawaiian life are truly stunning. The fun times she is gifted with in life, however, hardly make up for the absolute shocking neglect on behalf of her parents. While the adventures are there, it is really one horror after another as Toby describes growing up with parents who, quite clearly, had zero interest in being parents. Hating the idea of working full time to support his growing family, her father is a drunk surfer who makes his dislike for children apparent at every possible opportunity. Her mother is usually just "there," looking after some of her children's basic needs while ignoring others altogether. Toby reports few true bonding moments with either of her parents, with most of her memories of her parents being on the painful side, at least the way I read it. She tells of about living in tents or vans for extended periods, with little protection from pouring winter rains; her mom expressing excitement over the money they save by feeding their children chicken feed ("it's the same barley and grains we'd buy for triple the price in the grocery store!"); and her mother's exasperating lack of interest in using of condoms/birth control despite their incredible poverty and the fact that new pregnancies mean, at times, that up to six of them will share a single van or broken-down tent as housing. Her father refuses to work full-time in spite of his strong health, instead eventually taking on a full-time property manager job for some rich folks on the island, and then making his heavily pregnant wife and young children do 25 of his weekly work hours doing manual labor around the property. His selfishness is summed up perfectly later in the book, when he callously tells his teen daughter, who is distraught by the idea of yet another move into yet another dingy shack with no electricity/plumbing/proper roof - "You may like your life here, but I hate mine." The absolute lack of responsibility, care or regard that these individuals take in raising Toby and her siblings is constantly frustrating, and at times almost unbearable to read about. In spite of this, Toby somehow manages to become a...dare I say...normal, highly functional adult. She focuses her time on her education from a young age, seeking an escape from the dreary and isolated existence she experiences while living with her family. She teaches herself to survive, keeps her younger siblings alive when her parents are unable to put in any effort at all, and actually succeeds in getting what she wants in life (albeit after many years of torment and fantasies of escape). It was frustrating as anything, but her style of prose, sensitive perception of the world around her, and personality itself makes it well worth the read!

After reading and enjoying many of Toby Neals books I was keen to read her memoir of growing up in Paradise. What a read this was. It was absolutely fascinating to read of the many escapades Toby got up to and the many skills she learnt while a very young child. Also the customs on Kauai, the people, scenery and so much more. This is a story of heartbreak, love, poverty, addiction, struggle, determination. It tells of a child growing up with the certain knowledge that she will change things so she can lead a 'normal' life. Thank you Toby for sharing this.

WOW Toby, what can I say, your life was tough but amazing, some of your experiences are unbelievable and make Lei and Sophie's adventures a bit ordinary 😉 For anyone who wants to read this book, please make time to sit down and not get up again until you finish, because you won't want to put it down. An amazing book Toby and Congratulations, I'm sure it will make #1. It has with me, well done. 👏👏

I read it though once and immediately read it again and enjoyed it just the same! Very interesting story of growing up with hippie parents in Kauai.

An incredible story of growing up wild in paradise. I was astounded by Neal’s determination to overcome the seemingly endless stream of obstacles—both physical and emotional—arising all around her, her rich descriptions of people (the way she captures other people’s eyes is pure poetry) and her surroundings, and her honesty—raw and moving. I highly recommend reading about her exceptional childhood and coming of age.